100 Days and Like 50 Quadrillion to Go Post.

So I have officially been married for like 100 days now, give or take a few hours. I have decided that I like marriage. Brittany and I have been having lots of fun so far, mainly because our life is so stinkin' easy. I would like to share with you some of my reflections on the last 100 days and a few things about Brittany that the world should know. Brittany may be the only person that actually finds this post interesting, just letting you know.
1. Brittany is much too good for me.
2. I have learned that in many respects I am a dumb male. Yes, there are some things that three older sisters just can't prepare you for.
3. Inside of Brittany is a little political pundit. She just doesn't know it yet.
4. Being married is much more fun when you do not work from 12-8 AM like 13 nights a week.
5. Easy Cheese on Pringles. Enough said.
6. Phase Ten is not a game, it is a war and might I remind you that 1776 may have been a bad year for the Americans but they won that war, and don't you forget it.
7. Ultra just might mean more than super absorbent, not less than light. Even when it is to the left of light.
8. Meatballs never get old, no matter how often you eat them.
9. When you get married, random companies start sending you mail demanding that you pay them. Life should be free.
10. Sinks will always leak and nothing you do will ever stop them.
11. I don't think Brittany actually sleeps. I swear she leaves her alarm on vibrate and wakes up to it every morning.

Portuguese Post

Last Monday I found myself stressed out over a stupid piece of homework that had no application whatsoever in what I really want to do for a living. Inspired by this complete distaste for Excel formulas that make no sense, I decided to change my major. I decided that because I am so far along in school, I would need to choose a short major that I would really enjoy. I decided that the perfect major for me would be Portuguese. I don't know who reads this blog, but some of you may have not been aware that Portuguese is actually a major. Well it is, and I have decided to do it. I think it will go fairly well.
Now for those of you who read this blog looking for inconsistencies in my writing, I want you to know that I am fully aware that Portuguese literature also has little to do with what I want to do for a living, which is to practice law. Because there is basically no major that truly captures the spirit of the legal world, I decided to choose a major that would be fun and interesting to me.

Last Day of Work Post

So I have been married for over a month now, and I am just about done with my graveyard shift job (I have about an hour and ten minutes left). This is really exciting for multiple reasons, let me explain:
1. Brittany and I might actually get used to sleeping in the same bed. Eventually Brittany won't have to tell me that she spent half the night on the couch because she couldn't sleep, because I like kept kicking her or something.
2. I will now know what day of the week it is. Life gets so confusing when you are awake all night and asleep all day.
3. I get weekends back! Brittany and I are really excited about this one. Brittany has been spending saturdays alone, but now I will be awake with her. She may stop liking this one after a little while.
4. I will be able to stay awake in church.
5. And there is one that I know at least Brittany is excited about: She doesn't have to stay awake till midnight waiting for me to go to work anymore. She likes to go to bed early.

News Junkee Post

Everyone, I have done it! Last night at around 10:00 pm Brittany and I sat down to work on our puzzle, and what did Brittany do? She turned on Fox News. Yes my politically disinterested wife has become somewhat politically interested. When she turned on the news I thought she was just turning it on for me. When I asked her if she liked Fox News she said yes, and I told her she was lying and then she said, "No I really do, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm like, I wonder what they're saying on Fox News." I could hardly believe it. By November 2012 she will be wanting to host an election night party for sure! Don't you just love life's little victories?

Humility Post

So, remember that part about putting the pipes back together correctly? Well, for the most part I did fine, but when I turned the water to the sink back on, apparently it started some sort of leak. I came home from work at 8:00 am to find a very wet kitchen. It was all very exciting. The carpet got kind of wet so we decided to put those Shamwow towels to the test. They were very absorbent and I was most impressed. The carpet is still a little wet because there was a lot of water, but besides that the house is mostly back together. I was slightly humbled by the situation, but at least Brittany still thinks I'm hot.

Pride Post

I would like to brag.
I recently got married so now I have to like take care of stuff/fix things. This has been an interesting endeavor. The most recent occured last night. The disposal side of our sink was clogged. Naturally it was my job to fix it. So I started taking the pipes under the sink apart. Eventually I hit the right one because when I opened it a large mass of food spit out, and then water came flooding out. Luckily I had placed a pot underneath to catch any water that should decide to come flying out. The sight was similar to violent vomitting. The carrot peelings acted as convincing "chunks". Needless to say it was all very exciting, and according to Brittany, "[it] was hot!" Yeah, she was way impressed. She is soooo lucky...unless I didn't put the pipes back together correctly.

Flossing Post

You know what amazes me? We have put a man on the moon, we can connect with people instantly on the other side of the world, and we build buildings over a thousand feet tall, and yet we still clean out the spaces between our teeth with string. Seriously?! Not to mention the fact that you go to the dentist and when they find holes in your teeth they make them bigger, and then fill them up with cement. I have decided that either NASA, Bill Gates, or Al Gore needs to direct their innovative thinking towards dental hygiene. Now don't get me wrong I love my dentist dearly, but the industry is seriously lacking in innovation. I'm thinking that if there can be wireless XBox controllers, there must be some room for some easification in the whole dental hygiene genre of torture. In the spirit of wireless technology, why not wireless flossing? If they can cut your eye open with a laser surely they can remove a little plaque and tartar right? Can you imagine how much easier it would be to get kids to floss? Who doesn't want to play with a laser? I think it is a great idea, and encourage anyone with the resources to pursue such an invention to do so. It would be quick and painless, and no more bleeding gums, or trying to fit two fists into the back of your mouth to get between those molars.

Now I know what some of your are thinking: what about the water pick? Have you ever used one of those? It tickles like crazy! Not to mention the fact that you can shoot yourself in the eye and it really hurts.

P.S. I am really excited to get married in two days!